Wednesday, June 1, 2016

My One Night Stand with the Café Racer

Wicked Ride is a lot like tinder, you think you’ve found the perfect match but then she’s way out of your league or too tall! Some of them are a little too curvy for my taste and some just don’t have the character. But then, I came across one beauty! Dressed in red, with beautify silver accessories, there she was, the Royal Enfield Continental GT! As I swipe through her pictures, I can’t help but have lustful thoughts of riding her on curves. She has character too! A 535 cc engine, fuel injection, and Pirelli tyres! And the instrument cluster! It has a face that you could put miss worlds to shame! She also comes from a family who has a rich history dating back 1893! She even has interesting stories of her grandfather fighting in the war!


After drooling for a long time, I booked a date with her on a Saturday. We decided that the date was going to be at Yellagiri. We would ride through 250 kms of the golden quadrilateral and about 50 kms of mountains.

The problem with us men is that we tend to think that all women like to be wooed the same way. My last relationship was with the KTM Duke 200. She was no nonsense – no foreplay – just get straight to the hard stuff. The red lady, however, had other plans. If you half-ass the foreplay, she gets mad! If you rev her hard before reaching the right gear, she shows you her displeasure. This displeasure is in the form of vibrations at the wrong places (I make no innuendos here – the vibrations will make you massage your nads else it will be in the peril of falling off).


After about half the date, I sort of figured out what makes her laugh and what makes her happy.  Never push her. Be gentle. You can’t go from 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 - 5 in a hurry. If you are gentle, she will nudge you on her own to go from 1-5. At 5 is the orgasm! Cruising at a 100 km/hr, you shouldn’t push her to do more. All you need to do is relax, enjoy the ride, and listen to the Royal Enfield moan!

Towards the end of the date, however, we had a bit of a problem. Thundershowers struck! You can tell a lot about a person by the way they react to emergency situations. This is when I figured out what the red lady was - just a one night stand. She panicked at the first sign of rain. Her lovely face went from a miss universe to that of a frightened pug. The lights on the instrument cluster went off, the fuel gauge switched off. The speedometer and the taco meter reading rushed between lowest to highest. Even the brake light refused to turn on. There was no cuddling – only a hurry to grab my things and run out of the apartment as soon as I can.

She wasn’t wife material. She just wasn’t reliable and it was way too much effort. Certainly a mistress. Never a wife. But I know I will look back someday, maybe look at a picture of two of her and exclaim “What a ride it was!”


Special thanks to my hommies for making this ride happen - Anoop, Hari +2, Ashrith +1 , Akshay, Pradi +1, Gautham.

Anoop's comment after getting back : Maga how was it pleasuring yourself on the RE and he sent me this:

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Apparently, I did enjoy myself.

#Royal Enfield, #RE, #RoyalEnfield, #Royal Enfield Contiental GT, #Cafe Racer, #CafeRacer, #GT, #ContinentalGT, #Yellagiri